I kinda get sick about hearing all this "safe/sane/consensual" (SSC) crap, and how it's unsafe for ADULTS to be drinking while beating or humiliating their slaves. I'm not suggesting that anyone get rip roaring, falling down drunk, but, if you're like me, and actually learned this craft the old way (i.e from someone in person & by doing it), rather than just logging onto the internet & reading a few books then proclaiming yourself an expert on it, then you'd know what you're doing, even after a few margaritas. It's not like I'm going to get amnesia and forgot how to untie a knot, or stick my strap on up your arse. I was attracted to this stuff primarily because it wasn't safe, sane or consensual. Safe, Sane and Consensual is a married man and woman, laying down in their own bed, under the sheets, with the lights out, and fumbling around for a few minutes until one of them cums. (Always the man)... Hardly earth shattering stuff.
Female Domination, (BDSM) etc., was dark, risky, and exciting - the complete opposite of safe, sane and consensual. I do this because I can fuck with someone's mind, and take myself to a place deep inside that is definitely not all peachy cream. Quite often it's a place deep inside that's nasty, dirty, and completely spine tingling chilly. For me, this lifestyle is about looking deep inside a person & sometimes finding out things that you'd never want to know about them, or yourself. It's like being home alone watching a really scary horror movie.
Me hanging someone by the neck is not by definition considered "safe". Breath play, Blood play, knife play, exchange of bodily fluids, none of those things could possibly be deemed safe, or sane. For me, anything with a chance of death involved, automatically draws me to it.
I think the safe sane thing came about more because of the men who were into "dominating" women, which as you know I can't fucking stand, but they wanted something to explain that they weren't "abusers". Then along with the rest of the culture in America, it was probably put out there to stop people suing one another over really stupid things. I mean, come on, do we really need a warning on our hair dryers that tells us for safety reasons NOT to use it in the bath tub? Or that cup of coffee we're buying is HOT? Even my GPS unit asks me every time I turn it on, to AGREE NOT TO use it while driving...??? WTF???
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. (Hmmm, could this be much different than heating up a dildo in the microwave, it would save the walk to the kitchen)???
"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod. (Oh really, I seem to remember shocking the shit out of several slaves with a cattle prod, or a tens unit)!
Some other really dumb "warnings"....
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Baby Oil" - Keep out of reach of children
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter - "Safe to use around pets."
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
"Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.
"For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.
"No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere.
Don't even get me started on how many people I've met in the scene who are seriously mentally ill (and on all sorts of prescription drug cocktails) but who will absolutely beat down anyone who might want to smoke some pot during their play time... If that's not dumb, I don't know what is...
Posts
3 comments:
Mistress-
Just read this blog and it really struck a chord. i feel like the vast machine that has linked together of government and media has successfully created a culture of abject fear for a vast preponderance of our society to live in. As apparently non-empowered citizens, we are asked to only be afraid o everything, in lieu of thinking for ourselves and logically figuring out what is and is not in our own best self interest.
As well, because of this, and because we've grown more conservative in our morals, we've reached an impasse where those of us who think and act independently of the system are not "safe and sane." As a submissive, my entire being is built on trusting someone else to aid me in self exploration and erotic betterment and discovery. If that makes me crazy, then i'm a lunatic. LOL. Not fair at all.
Your choice, and mine as well, to welcome this challenge is very moral, and very sane, and ultimately wonderful.
This world is filled with consequences. Making people afraid of them, instead of aware of them, and how they could help or hurt, to me, stunts our social and intellectual growth, which clearly leads to many of the problems we have today.
-keith d.
Keith - totally agree with you ;-)
It's difficult to find a good dividing line between BDSM and abuse. It's equally difficult to find a good line between BDSM and mental illness. SSC is an attempt to do that, but it fails to take into account that nothing is 100% safe, sanity is subjective, and without sanity, it's hard to give much weight to consent.
Having said that, we all have to make decisions about risk. I totally freaked one time when my dom at the time approached me with her cattle prod. Ahem. It's funny how the threat of a cattle prod will get a boy to behave VERY well and VERY quickly.
Does having a drink or a joint really add that much risk? That's a call the participants can make - preferably beforehand. What about anger? The first big broohaha I got into in the "community" was over using anger in a scene.
I wrote a story about a no-safeword scene and (along with a lot of praise) got several "OMG! That's so dangerous!" emails.
If you don't like it, don't do it.
If it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it.
People with a "one true way" complex get my tail fuzzed out.
Post a Comment